Saturday, December 12, 2009

A crisis of faith?

Maybe.

I don't really know what to call it. All I know for sure is that everything I'm trying to do, or handle, or create, or have, or hope for, or want, or plan, or even just simply think about is crumbling around me.

God is trying to tell me to move out of the way, but how does one go about doing that, exactly?

There is no Christmas tree. There is no money for bills. There is no money for gifts. There is no safety net. There is no one to talk to. There is no venting. There is no help for my son who is trying to find his way at school...and he's choosing the wrong one. There is no time for anything. There is no confidence.

The worst part about all of it is that there are very few feelings about any of it.

I'm pretty sure that getting out of the way doesn't mean give up completely, but what else do I do?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I'm still alive...

Just (still) trying to catch up from surgery, Thanksgiving, almost two weeks off of work, $700 in car repairs, and life in general.

I have some interesting things to talk about in regards to a new study we started in my Sunday small group. Actually, some interesting things to talk about in regards to a new study we started in my Wednesday small group too.

As well as some feelings to sort through since my emergency room visit and the fall out from that. God is so good, yet I am still so lonely.

School will break in another 12 days, I'll have more time for blogging then...